A Government Notice

(A Satire by a highly thoughtful and intelligent individual to make an interesting reading of the government’s cunning attitude towards its citizens)

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give to our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local Member of Parliament who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Valuation of Individual Lives (EVIL)

The person who drafted this must be a brilliant marketing person.

PS — Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has also turned off.

This means, you better be prepared now for the worst to come, because with present government measures on FDI, and other so called reforms, with the foreigners gradually dominating or even taking over our economy, I don’t think, these programs will ever help any needy persons in this country, except of course the rif-raffs and the ever emerging corrupt ones, from the ruling parties and the government.

Please also see a link given in the first comment under this notice.